I realized I've been doing a lot of whining about Teresa, lately. I've decided I'm not going to carry this into the new year but I have a lot to say so I'm going to speak now and forever more hold my peace.

Why did I go out with her in the first place?
Well... Y'all have seen the pictures. mdr! Truth is, I did like her. I really enjoyed the times we had. When I first met her, she had a bf, but even if she didn't, I honestly didn't think I was good enough for her. I mean, I'm no George Clooney. Also, girls tend to like older guys but she's almost 3 years older than me. Anyway, I found out that she kinda liked me, but she thought I was immature and so she wanted to wait till I was 23...

So why didn't we?
We actually kinda got into a fight. I was feeling more and more uncomfortable with the fact that I liked her but had to wait. I wasn't waiting till I got more mature and I didn't need to wait for her to become more mature because at the time, I thought she was kinda mature. I wanted to know what I should expect. At first, she told me that, if we were both single, I could go out with her when I turned 23, but later she backs off and says "we'll see"... It made it kinda difficult to have feelings for her because if I did, I'd have to hold them in until I'm 23 which would be hard on me. The only thing that would give me the strength to do that would be a guarantee of a "sure thing". I needed something more re-assuring than "we'll see".

Ladies! Don't do this! You might hear dating advice experts tell you to play tricks on a guy to make him like you more... Actually, this is good advice! It does work! But watch out! Look at what type of tricks you're playing and don't go too far. Don't try to be controlling and once you tell a guy you like him, the gig is up! Give him a chance to like you back or not rather than avoiding his answer by delaying it until 3 years down the road. This sort of BS will not make him mad about you but it might actually make him mad at you!

In any case, that's what happened with Teresa. I was mad and the next time I saw her I just kept insulting her and throwing bottle caps between her breasts. Mia Culpa. I know. But we reconciled and I reconciled myself with the fact that we were just going to be friends with a slight possibility in something happening when I turned 23 but I wouldn't get my hopes up. So we go back to just being friends and she changes her mind. This was totally unexpected by me but she wanted to tell me straight up that she liked me and that she thought she didn't want to wait anymore!

Fucking A!!!!! I was on top of the world for once. I spent my summer looking for a job but, well, hardly looking and so I spent a lot of time hanging with my friends and stuff and I must say: I really had the time of my life! And then, to top it off, I manage to score a hot gf! Things were good...

But trouble was a-brewing... Here's an exclusive revelation that y'all might not know: She was not my first choice! I actually had a crush on another girl at the time. But I liked Teresa enough to go out with her.

So what if she wasn't my FIRST choice?! She was my SECOND choice. I was happy to have her and I was determined to make things work between us!

The more time I spent with her as my gf, the more I liked her, the more I loved her... But it seemed like she was liking me less and less. I think she could tell that I didn't like her as much as she liked me... And it would be a lie for me to say that that wasn't the case. But I was getting there and I wish she would have given me the chance.

I mean, WTF did she expect?! You can't expect that everyone who you have a crush on has a crush on you! Or that you're your first pick's first pick! But is that so important? No. If I was in the same situation, I would have been a little disappointed for sure, but I would have made it clear: "Tough! You're with me, now! So, forget about him!"

So many people think they find the perfect one, yet our divorce rate is SOOOOOO high. Honestly, I don't really care about finding the perfect one. I just want someone to love. I think the success of a relationship has more to do with the effort you put into it than having found the perfect match, in the first place.

This is why I'm so mad at Teresa! She didn't put any effort into making this work and to overcoming our problems. I made it clear, from the very beginning, that I wanted her to give me a chance, to give me several chances because I knew I was bound to screw up.

She didn't. She told me all about how her past boyfriends were such pricks but she gave them more of a chance than she gave me.

And maybe I didn't love her from the very beginning, but I wanted to and I was starting to...

And I try to find things I didn't like about her to justify our breakup:

• She's kinda blonde: honestly, who has to ask what the official language of Mexico is?

• She was kinda boring. She never really made me laugh (except once when she quoted some Adam Sandler skit and when she would say "well..." in that special tone but that's actually a joke that I invented). She didn't have any other talents that impressed me either: she didn't sing, she didn't play any instruments or paint or ANYTHING, really...
• She was really narrow-minded. She's like the guy from Family Guy who said "Hick-a-doo-lah is about obeying ALL the rules!"
  
• She likes the Winter! Actually, in the long term, this is the biggest problem of all. I HATE the winter. In fact, I hate it soooo much I want to leave Canada. But I kinda had a plan: I was going to shove snow in her face sooo often that eventually she would break down sobbing and say: "I hate the winter!"
  

But despite all this, I still like her. I can't justify not liking her. She made me smile. Being with her made me feel awesome!

Anyway, she wanted to break up with me after our second date. I was actually considering breaking up with her because things didn't feel quite as I expected them to. But I still wanted to give this a chance so I talked her out of it. Things kinda didn't go so well, like we really couldn't get into the club we wanted to go to but things between us we're really heating up. I was actually kinda concerned that she wasn't attracted to me but I found out that in fact, she was. And things seemed to be going really well and well... too well, in a sense.

So I was ready to slow things down... Again, she got scared and said she wanted to break up. Out of all the reasons, that's why?!! WTF?!!

This girl is messed up! This might be a little cryptic because I still have too much respect for her to mention what happen on my blog, but I'll just say ummm... we got to 2nd base. And this is the reason she chose for breaking up! Because we went TOO FAR! This did NOT make sense to me AT ALL. It still doesn't. Yea, that is a problem that as a good Catholic couple we would have to deal with... But TOGETHER! If that is TRULY her reason for breaking up, she's got serious psychological issues and she is undateable because of that.

I tried to talk her out of it, again... but it wasn't working. I tried to understand her reasons but she just babbled on about something and she didn't really make any sense. Like she didn't actually give a reason. I think she just kept on repeating "it's for the best" or variations of that phrase.

Going out with Teresa was the most wonderful thing that happened to me at that point in my life (and a lot of wonderful things happened for me). It was hard to get used to going out because I was so scared that I'd lose her and it would crush me. I did and it did.

It still hurts. Sometimes, I have dreams that we get back together. Not day-dreams, but actual dreams. And I think it's real. Like I'll dream that she e-mails me and tells me this and then later I wonder if that actually happened and so I rush to check my e-mail but no...

But do I want to get back together with her? I could find happiness with another girl, I'm sure. I just haven't met any. There's one girl at work who's kinda cute but she's also kinda taken, kinda vegetarian and kinda 24. I don't really have much of an opportunity to meet girls. And I'm feeling kinda lonely and it sucks. I would rather have a girl now who's not perfect for me but who makes me happy than wait in loneliness for a long, long, time and eventually find the perfect girl years down the road! I do not like being single. Apparently, Teresa does. And she said this before we were going out, like in reference to being single after breaking up with her previous bf. Well, maybe she should become a nun then and be lonely for the rest of her life. Not me though, I don't want to be lonely!

But what about the other girl? The more I hung out with her, the more I realized I couldn't stand her and I eventually lost interest. I have no feelings for her. At all.

But I'm avoiding the question... Do I want to get back together with Teresa? I'm going to be really honest with y'all. I miss her. I could probably find another girl and move on, but until then, if she wanted to get back together, I would be lying if I said I would refuse.

Anyway, that is all I'm going to say about her in this blog. I've got to hurry up. I've got a New Year's party to go to. But I wanted to write this first because I want to leave this in 2006, before I go. My slideshow pictures on my computer at work are now 95% Teresa free and I can be happy if I don't think about her. If I do, it still kinda hurts and I realize it still will. But I'm ready to move on. I will find somebody else and I'll be happy and the painful memories of Teresa are no longer going to stop me from being happy with my adventures and my future relationships.

There. I think that's it...
Amor, Salud y Prosperidad! God bless, y'all!

~Lic. Jonas "LA APISONADORA" Graham, esq.

It's OFFICIAL!!!

Me and the lovely Princess Teresa are an item.  So, sorry ladies...  I'm taken!

Teresa and I have been in the friend-zone for quite a while now.  But after a few weeks of confusion, we realized that we like each other.  Well, I mean, we, like, like like each other and we realized that we should totally go out.  I am really happy right now!  Teresa is an amazing gal, and I feel like the luckiest man in the world to have her as my gf.  So now we're two fools in love, or at least two fools at any rate!  We even have a combined name like Bennifer or Brangelina: it's Jeresa!  

Now y'all may remember that a few weeks back I wrote a post about girls and what I would look for in a girl.  I mentioned that I liked girls with a pony tail, glasses and American citizenship.  Y'all might be thinking "What gives?!  You went for something completely different!"  But no.  

Although she doesn't usually wear a pony tail, I've had the occasion of seeing her sporting one and it was amazing.  

She is also a four-eyes, although she usually wears contacts.  She does look awesome in glasses, though!  Check out these photos of her with her wearing glasses from the last day of the Wonderland trip:

And at least she doesn't have to deteriorate her vision really quickly in order to impress me as she would have had to do if she wasn't myopic.  

Alas, she does not have American citizenship, unfortunately, but oh well...  can't win 'em all!  mdr!  Besides, she is sooo awesome that if I had the authority to do so, I'd make her an honorary citizen of the American USA!  Besides, she totally has the three S's: Smiling, Sassy and Silly.

Here are some more reasons why Princess Teresa is sooo amazing:

• She is a drop-dead gorgeous Italian-Canadian (3rd generation yet still 100% Itai) with beautiful brown eyes (my brown-eyed girl.  hehe.) and wavy brown hair with awesome highlights.  
• She is Catholic and quite strong in her faith!  She's got a beautiful soul!
• She likes a lot of the same music I like including the Backstreet Boys and stuff!
• She can actually put up with me and my crazy antics
• She is literate!  (Literacy is a major plus!  I totally dig girls who can read and write!)
  

In fact, I can totally look past the fact that she is a Science dork who goes to Karleton (where the K stands for Kwality).

Shucks!  This just feels sooo great.  I mean who would have thunk it...  Sometimes, I still just can't believe it.  It's sooo incredible!  I'm actually kinda speachless now, so I'll just leave y'all with a couple of photos to enjoy.   See the new "Jeresa" album.  (Note: They're mostly hers.  I stole them from her space.  hehe.)